Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The Proud Father Fixation

One of the most basic of human needs is that of social acceptance & endorsement. And for most Indian sons & daughters the need for that need begins at home. For us, no matter how successful we ever become, it only counts if it makes out parents proud, more so our fathers. Success can make us feel accomplished, important & give you a sense of achievement, but we will never find that sense of contentment unless our achievements are endorsed by our dad.

I wonder what creates that indebted feeling amongst us, probably the pressure of a patriarchal lineage, or maybe because they pay our bills, I don't know, but for some un-understood reason we tend to cling on to that obligation forever & ever & ever.....

This whole business of  "Proud Parents" is really a double edged sword. If your parents are easily impressed, and don't expect too much to begin with, then contentment might come too early, and you may not realize your true potential, but if your parents are never impressed, then you might spend your life trying to prove your point to them, and be like a fish out of water.

But, there is a question, is it possible to get rid of that feeling altogether, to stop that factor from being the driving force behind our lives, and to find purpose in things that are more meaningful. Because if we are able to liberate ourselves from this cheese chase, we are likely to either realize our true potential or atleast find contentment in a more consequential pursuits.

Einstein said that if you want a happy life, tie yourself to goals and not people or things. And who knows, one day when you are a great man, and you are content with your achievements, you might just  sit together with your father, and share your scotch as equals. 

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